Incinerate
by KingRadish
Summary: "Now you can't push me away!" She was chirpy, almost ridiculously happy despite the tears that were also flowing down her face. "I love you Natsu. But you're too blind to see it because you think you're not perfect. How could I let you die alone?"- The world has turned on a disfigured Natsu, but Lucy always has his back. Until the very end. OneShot


**Hi! This is a one shot about Natsu getting disfigured! Yay!**

 **Well, it's not going to be happy, so prepare yourself. This was a request from 4fireking, who also came up with the idea.**

 **I wrote it all in one go today, so forgive me if it's not great quality. :) I tried.**

 **The weird symbols separating the different segments are in Georgian script for ND cuz... Natsu Dragneel! Microsoft word is cool.**

 **Oh, by the way, Road Knight is a drug in one of the Fairy Tail spinoff series for Gajeel.**

 **-KingRadish**

* * *

Incinerate

He'd never felt so alone.

Sometimes he wished that his guild would just leave him alone and let him do whatever he needed to do instead of looking upon him with their pity.

He hated _pity_.

It was such a sour word, like acid that burned his lips. He'd brought it up with Lucy- _Luce_ , he used to call her, before it felt so wrong to be intimate with a normal girl-and she'd cried so hard that he swore he would never speak the word again. And so it lived in the pit of his stomach like a poisonous snake, and ate him from the inside out.

He was a monster now, he supposed.

Slowly his personality had dulled and become somber, because no one with a face like his deserved to smile. He wasn't very literate, unlike Lucy, but even he knew the difference between a grin and a _leer._

Until now, he'd never really appreciated the good looks he'd been born with. He'd taken that for granted along with everything else in his life. Now, marred and disfigured, he realized that _everything_ was gone. Everything and everyone he treasured no longer treasured him.

He always pretended not to see Lucy taking a deep breath right before stepping through his door with a smile bigger and faker than Evergreen's boobs or smell the salt of tears that always seemed to trail behind her like a forlorn ghost. He no longer fought the men who tried to win her hand and instead stood to the side and hid his face, because Lucy Heartfillia was no longer _his_.

He doesn't have anything anymore.

ნდ

His heavy steps carried him through the streets of Magnolia toward his guild. It was just a guild now, no longer the magical home he'd always thought it was.

Home is where the heart is, and Natsu Dragneel didn't have a heart any longer.

The latest mission had been easy. All the S-class missions were easy, he realized. When there's no one to care about you and when you didn't care about yourself, everything was easy. He'd gotten stronger too, when he'd eaten the flames that burnt him. He thought that he was probably now more on the Godslayer or Demonslayer level.

But, honestly, nothing mattered anymore.

People cast him cautious glances, fearful looks, as if he would suddenly turn to look at them with his burnt face. As if he was a monster, and the burns that marred his body were contagious. He was used to this fear; savored it even, because fear was something other than pity.

"Excuse me, mister?"

Natsu looked down to see a little boy about five with a shock of blonde hair-he thought of Lucy for the ten billionth time that day-looking up at him with big, innocent eyes. The boy's friends were cowering behind a nearby tree, shouting at him to leave the big scary monster alone.

It hurt, surprisingly. It hurt so much.

"Yeah? What's up?" He was glad that at least his voice had remained the same. Porlyusica had helped him fix his vocal cords up again although his face was irreparable.

The children behind the tree fell silent as the little boy spoke. "Why do you look so sad?"

It caught him by surprise, and he felt the familiar welling of tears as the world became one blurry mess. He knelt down in front of the little boy, who was just one little yellow blob in his watery vision, took a moment to swallow back his tears, and told him, "I'm not sad at all, just tired after a mission. I'm going to go home and take a nice long nap."

"You're from Fairy Tail!" The boy seemed excited.

"Yeap. I just fought a really big monster the size of a mountain!" He tried hard to smile in what he hoped was an amicable way, but it's hard to smile when he couldn't feel half of his face. "Well, y'all keep playing, and I'm gonna go back to the guild first."

Then he stood up and left before the tears started falling.

ნდ

 _Lucy's arms were broken and Gray was out like a light._

 _Erza was on the other side of the complex, too busy slashing the enemies to give them any help._

" _Happy," Natsu's voice was strong and confident. "Get me up there so I can kick that bastard's ass."_

 _The Exceed nodded. "Be careful, Natsu! He's a Demonslayer and he's got that other guy with him. We don't know what he can do."_

" _I know, buddy." He was grinning now, eager to wipe his fists on the bastards who hurt his nakama. "But I'm Natsu. I'm the best fire mage there is! I'm gonna wreck him."_

 _They flew up, and suddenly they were falling. Everything was a blur as the world spun in circles._

" _Happy! Happy?!" He tried to look behind him, but as they twirled in circles, inertia kept his head forward. "Happy! What's going on?"_

 _He felt something wet on his face, and when he reached up to wipe it away, he realized it was blood. Happy was bleeding._

 _Happy was a falling star and Natsu was covered in his blood. When he finally felt the impact, Natsu crawled toward his best friend, whose wings were gone. Raw, red stubs twitched weakly on his back as the Exceed cried._

" _Natsu… Natsu… Are you there?" Happy's eyes were glassy. "Natsu…"_

" _I'm here," he couldn't find his voice anymore. He couldn't talk when he really needed to. "I'm here, Happy."_

" _Good, you're okay!" Natsu's heart broke when he saw that Happy was smiling. "I'm so glad I got to hang out with you, Natsu! You're my bestest friend ever. Tell Carla that I love her and tell Lucy that I'll miss her bed…"_

 _Natsu didn't feel the iron stake shooting into his stomach, nor did he feel the acid fire that swallowed him whole. He didn't feel the skin peeling from his face; he didn't smell the sickly sweet scent of burning flesh; he didn't hear Lucy screaming his name._

 _He didn't taste the Demonslayer's flames. He didn't feel his fists crashing into the enemy mages' faces. He didn't hear the crack of their necks breaking as his fingers turned into burning claws. He didn't smell the blood on his face, his body, his hands, mixing in with the scent of death._

 _All he felt was his heart breaking. The pain was unbearable, like someone was tearing him apart from the inside, ripping him to shreds._

ნდ

"Natsu!" Lucy was always the first to greet him. She always waited for him, that girl, no matter how many times he told her not to.

"Hey, Lucy." He tried to sound upbeat as he received her warm hug. She was so soft against the roughness of his hardened skin and he tried not to think about it, because it didn't matter how lovable she was when he couldn't love her.

"How was the mission? Awesome, right?" She was laughing, but something was off. He could smell it in the air, like something rotting.

"Yeah, it was pretty easy. Reward's enough to pay for your rent too." He rummaged through his knapsack for the jewels that he'd gotten, a whopping 12,000,000 jewels. "Then you won't have to go on missions this month."

That big, fake smile was on her face again. "Natsu, c'mon, I can't take your money! I'm not like some freeloader mooching off of you!"

"Hey, but we're a team so we gotta help each other out."

She didn't say anything to that for a while as she looked away. Erza and Gray came over, their expressions solemn.

"Natsu," Lucy's voice was soft, almost tender. "You… You haven't been with us much lately."

He knew what was coming, but he really, _really_ , didn't want to admit it to the shattered pieces of his heart. "Oh, well, sorry I haven't noticed." He tried to keep the corners of his ruined mouth from twitching downward.

Even his closest friends were leaving him.

"We can't go on missions without you, you know. We're a team." Gray wasn't looking at him anymore, but staring somewhere past his head. "You've been gone too long, too much."

"Natsu." Erza stepped forward. "You're far stronger than any of us now, but you've lost your understanding of teamwork. We can't have that on this team. So—"

"Don't say it. I get it."

"Natsu… Don't…" Lucy was crying again. He hated seeing her cry. "I don't want you to go!" She was standing in front of him now, as if protecting him with her frail body from the rest of the world. He noticed that she'd been losing weight ever since that mission long ago.

"Luce-Lucy, don't bother. I'm fine with it."

Now she turned on him, her eyes blazing. "What's wrong with you?! Natsu! You weren't like this before! Fight for this!"

"Before? Before what?! Before Happy died? Before I looked like _this_?"

Then he realized that the guild was silent. All eyes were on him, and he suddenly felt self-conscious. He turned to leave, crushing the gold coins in his hand in frustration.

He kicking the guild doors open, and as a gust of cool night air blew into his burning face, he heard Lucy call to him.

"We're going on a quest tomorrow! Meet us at ten in front of the train station!"

ნდ

He really didn't want to go, but imagining the look on Lucy's face persuaded him to pull himself off of his couch.

He really loved that girl. So much. She would never know, but she was his mate. His one and only for the rest of his life. His best friend who pitied him and thought her pity was love.

He tried not to think about things like this, because it made him feel something stir in his chest. He was a walking corpse, and things like feelings or love no longer applied to him.

"Natsu!" She was so glad to see him that her eyes literally glowed. She ran up to hug him again. She really liked hugs, he thought as he smiled into her hair. And smelled like strawberries. "I'm so glad you're here!"

"Me too, Lucy."

They got on the train and sat together like they always did, in one of those newly installed motion-sickness proof cars that were hella expensive to ride in. But Natsu was loaded, so paying for the fare was easy. Erza and Gray were going over quest details in a separate car.

"Why don't you call me Luce anymore?"

He froze. She wasn't looking at him, but he could tell that she was serious.

"I dunno. I thought you didn't like it?"

"Well, I kind of do. I miss you calling me that."

"Oh. Um, I don't know. I just don't feel like it."

"We both know that's bullshit, Natsu."

He sighed. "It's just… doesn't feel right anymore. 'Cause you're normal, and I'm…"

She looked disappointed and the smell of salt was in the air again. "You know I feel the same about you as I always have, Natsu. You're my best friend."

"It's not the same, Lucy. I'm different now. I'm ruined, and you're beautiful."

She blushed a little, and Natsu pretended not to notice. "It's what's inside that matters! You're still Natsu, and that's all you are to me. You're… you're my Natsu."

He didn't know what that meant, so he chose to ignore it. "After this, I'm probably going to go travel the world like Gildarts. Go do one of those hundred-year quest things."

"Is it me?" Her voice was trembling. "Do you not like me anymore, Natsu? Do I bother you?"

He shook his head, then leaned over and scooped her up into his arms. "You're the only reason I stayed so long. I love you, Luce."

"As a friend, right?" She laughed almost bitterly and leaned onto his chest. "I really don't want you to go. I'll miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too, Lucy."

They were silent for the rest of the train ride, engulfed in a saline cloud.

ნდ

The dark organization was much larger than they'd thought.

As soon as they started battle, they realized that they were overwhelmed. The townspeople were in fact hypnotized, and in their attempts to minimize collateral damage, the dark mages were gaining ground. On top of that, they were using Road Knight to destroy their sense of pain.

It was like fighting an army of zombies that they weren't allowed to kill.

There was no doubt that the four Fairy Tail mages were powerful, far more powerful than any of the dark mages, but there was strength in numbers that they could not overcome.

"I'll go into the left wing to take out that general," Erza's voice was like thunder. "You guys go for the center. I think we've wrecked the right wing sufficiently for now."

"Erza, I don't think we should separate!" Lucy called out, "staying together is safer."

"Lucy, it'll be fine." Natsu put a comforting hand on her arm, and she nodded unsurely. Her hair was a mess, but God, she was still beautiful. "I'll go for the boss in the center, and you and Gray clean up after me, okay?"

He didn't wait for her to reply, and dashed forward into the masses of enemies.

ნდ

There wasn't one "boss" but ten.

Fucking _ten_.

He got rid of nine, but the tenth one got him.

He was a mage that could control blood. Talk about a creepy-ass power. And in the bloodied battlefield, all the red blotches were his arsenal. He'd hit Natsu hard with spears of blood.

Natsu coughed out some blood, then wiped his mouth and grinned. "I'll give you credit for a good hit."

"Ha, same to you." The mage healed his burn with the blood of one of the dead leaders of the gang. "What are you, one of those Godslayers turning up everywhere these days?"

"Nah, just a first-gen flame Dragonslayer who's gonna kick your ass."

The mage smiled. "Well, aren't you an ugly one. Burned yourself playing with fire?"

"You could say that. It wasn't pretty."

"I'd say," the mage shrugged. "I promise I'll make it quick. You've suffered enough."

Natsu wanted to strangle him for that condescending, cocky attitude right then and there, but his magic was running low after fighting those nine other cocky bastards. He was magically and physically exhausted, but he knew that without Erza, Lucy and Gray had no chance of defeating this guy at their current power level.

He would slaughter them.

Natsu considered his options, and realized that there was only one. He had to use his trump card.

"Natsu, are you doing okay?" Lucy was whipping some guys nonchalantly as she called up to him. Somehow seeing her like that steeled his resolve. "We're almost done here!"

"He'll be done soon, too, hon!" The cheeky blood mage called down to her. Natsu delivered a quick punch to his face, making the man stagger backward.

"Lucy, get away from me with Gray and tell him to make a shield for you guys! I have to _finish_ this."

She looked disturbed at his tone, but knew better than to mess with him in battle, so she kicked a guy in the face and ran over to Gray, who was busy playing whack-a-mole on people with his big ice hammer. They exchanged some words, then ran toward the back.

Once he was sure that they were far enough, Natsu began to charge his magic, channeling it through his body to his hands. This was a move he'd discovered on one of his many solo training trips. He'd never finished it because he knew that if he let the power go from his body, he would unravel.

The mage could feel the change in the magic pressure, and seemed a little less sure of himself. The cocky smile faded into a grimace as he tried to figure out what was going to happen.

The attacks came swift and hard on Natsu's body, as spears made of blood pierced his arms, his legs, and his torso. The pain was excruciating, but Natsu knew that no pain would ever rival the pain he'd already felt when he lost his life, his friends, and his Happy.

And right now, his mission was to destroy this guy before he could take away anything else from Natsu, who had nothing and everything to lose.

 _Just one more minute,_ he told his body as he tasted more blood in his mouth. _Just one more minute and everything will be done._

He saw a huge, thick blood spear heading for his face and prayed that it would not hit him before he could unleash his power.

Suddenly, a whip crashed into the spear, sending it off-trajectory and into a nearby wall. Lucy was panting and she retracted her whip.

"Natsu, thank God I wasn't too late! You could have died right there!"

"Get out." He managed through gritted teeth. His molars were crushing each other and blood was filling his mouth. "Lucy, get the fuck out of here." _Fourty seconds left._

"No!" She was getting angry at him for swearing at her, he knew, and he almost cried at her naivety.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" He roared, and was horrified to find that he'd set himself back a few seconds. He was running out of power, and he needed to conserve every bit he had.

She seemed hurt rather than angry. "You know, I'm not just going to leave you here to die. We can fight him together, Natsu!"

He shook his head slowly. He was burning up, and every movement hurt. _Thirty seconds left._ "Lucy, please, if you stay here, you're going to die. You can't die, okay? I'm going to finish this, and you and Gray are going to go home and be safe. Tell Erza that I'm sorry."

She smiled and put her hands on his before he could scream at her to stop. He knew the pain was excruciating for her, but she kept smiling even when her pretty hands were melted together with his. He felt her power flowing into his body almost immediately. Her magic was clean and clear, like water that mixed with his hot lava.

 _Ten seconds left._ "Lucy, why?" He couldn't stop the tears from flowing out anymore, but they evaporated as soon as they touched his searing hot skin. "Why do you keep doing this?"

"Now you can't push me away!" She was chirpy, almost ridiculously happy despite the tears that were also flowing down her face. "I love you Natsu. But you're too blind to see it because you think you're not perfect. How could I let you die alone?"

 _Five seconds._

"Lucy."

 _Four seconds._

"I love you, Lucy."

 _Three seconds._

"I'm so sorry for this."

 _Two seconds._

"But you… You don't deserve to die."

 _One second._

He swung his arms in a wide arc, and her hands ripped apart from his. Her skin was charred and her flesh was burning as blood flowed like a river from her broken hands. She screamed his name as Gray caught her in mid-air.

"Goodbye, Luce." Natsu whispered as he turned back to the blood mage, who was trembling from the oversaturation of magic in the air.

 _Incinerate._

Lucy watched the golden light from his eyes run across his skin like cracks in dry earth and burst through his hands in a ball of fire.

She thought he looked brighter than the sun as he exploded in a shower of gold and yellow.

As his sparkling ashes rained upon her head, Lucy thought she heard his voice again, calling her _Luce._

* * *

 **Haha I hope that was okay! :) Drop me a review or something if you liked that! Or PM me.**


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